Democratic Strategery - Election 2008

In honor of Super-Duper Tuesday, some suggested Democratic campaign slogans:

Vote Edwards - Democrats: Party for the little guy... oh, wait...

Hillary - Pledging to bring tolerance back to the White House

Hillary - If I can keep Bill Clinton in check, imagine what I can do to Putin

Obama - I'm not George Bush, and I'm not Hillary Clinton

Hillary - I feel your pain... here, watch; I'll cry

Obama - I've always been anti-war, but I'll bomb Pakistan!

Hillary - I intend to run on my record... look how good my husband was!

Obama/Clinton - Universal Health Care! Except for illegal immigrants

Obama - I promise not to push the wrong buttons anymore

Hillary - It's important to be ready for the presidency from day-one. It's all I've ever thought about; just ask the people of New York

Obama - Because sitting down with our enemies will help us win the War on Terror... "2009 Obama/Osama Summit"

Hillary - Barack and I have very passionate spouses... wait a minute... Where the hell are they anyway?!

Obama - Secretary of Transportation... Ted Kennedy!

Hillary - Sen. Obama, if "dance moves" define a "brotha" than you won't be the first OR SECOND black president.

Cabbies Just Wanna Have Fu-uhn

Outside of Washington, DC, cabbies can be a lot of fun. The guy today had a partial cage around him... hmm. If they are not playing musica latina, it´s probably from the 80s. Last night on the way to the disco, we listened to "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun."
"Yo amo Cindy Lauper!" says the jovial fellow.
"Por que no?" I replied. I mean who doesn´t, really. Perhaps its just so refreshing to have a break from the lovely local DC Arabic radio station´s Koran readings coupled with the edge of your seat excitement of a NYC cab ride.

If we could rewind about 48 hours, I´d like to begin on my new political issue up for debate, since the restaurant smoking ban idea took off so well (California - 1993). They weigh your baggage at the airport, right? And if it´s overweight, they charge you extra. They measure you at Disneyland for height requirements. There is a posted weight limit in all American elevators. WHY DO I HAVE TO SUFFER A 6 HOUR FLIGHT PRESSED AGAINST MY WINDOW BY [XXL] PEOPLE!?! OK, don´t get me wrong; I make my living serving food to these types. Do you know how many tapas I can sell to some 300 pound tourist? However they do always keep me running for - of all things - Diet Coke refills. Where was I going with this? Oh yeah... 26 inches; if your body width exceeds the alloted 26 inches of space designated for your personal space in an economy-class airplane seat, you need to A) buy an extra seat, B) fly business class or first class, or C) make alternate travel plans. I´ll see if my brother can take that to the Hill when I get back. For now, I´ll just write to Hillary to see if socialized travel is on the platform; then at least, I can save the money for a massage.