Joy to the World

Think of the best of today. No matter what you have going on with your life, probably at some point you have at least one positive memory. Hopefully, you have plenty - gifts and family around the tree, no place to be but with the people you love, food and song and happiness... This is a day designed for joy.

I have many great Christmas memories: such as being with some great people who are no longer with us, the magical carols sung by a whole congregation in a huge Washington cathedral, going to Santa Barbara overnight to pick up my best friend who would otherwise be alone and bring him back to San Bernardino (5 hour round trip), having the best time with family-less friends in my apartment for a Christmas evening brunch, and just sitting with my nieces while they pounce around the living room from gift to gift. When done correctly, we use this day to both give of ourselves to ensure those around us feel joy, as well as open our hearts to the sometimes difficult task of receiving it. Imagine a single day specifically designed to create joy in this world.

Monsignor Sal, my pastor at Saint Patrick's in DC, likes to recommend that every day should be Christmas. Christmas is the model for our lives and our world. We should be giving every day. We should be trying to make people happy. We should seek peace in all that we do. We should allow love to flow into our hearts. We should be guided by the best of principles and hopes every day. There should be joy and it should be our mission to seek it on a regular basis. Take the best of today, and find a way to make the other 364 days not so ordinary. The original gift of Christmas was to save us from ourselves and the chaos that we make of an otherwise magnificent place. Hopefully, we can accept that... today, tomorrow, and the next.

May your Christmas be filled with peace, love, family, friends, and the joy that inspires your heart to persevere. God bless us all.

'Tis Better to Receive

We've got it all wrong.

To cut to the chase, yes, Christmas is about the celebration of Jesus' birth. I know, I know. No one wants to talk about that - it's on the hush-hush, the down low, on a need to know basis. Well, you all need to act like you know.

I get it - Americans will celebrate any foreign holiday that comes down the pike if that gives us an excuse to drink beer in the daytime: St. Patrick's Day, Cinco de Mayo, Bastille Day, The World Cup... We like to celebrate, and we are a melting pot nation, which means that our culture involves any holiday we want and see fit to take time out of our busy lives to proclaim our own. Christmas probably used to be a Christian holiday. Now it's for everyone - even the non-religious - and we are by nature inclusive, so fine; everyone can be in on the fun. Perhaps at some point, our forefathers thought inclusion equaled an open door policy that might steer some non-believers to "salvation" and then maybe we all just got lazy and decided to cave and make the commemoration of the birth of Jesus of Nazareth some religiously sterilized event that joined the rank of the Easter Bunny as a night when a jolly old fat man brings presents to kids all over the world in a single night. At least in theory, Santa seemed to use to discriminate among the naughty and nice children, as to whom would receive presents, but I bet even that farce has ceased to carry any weight among the gift expecting youth of today and even yesteryear. Now we have tramplings and stabbings every "Black Friday" as the commercial equivalent to the beginning of advent ensues, and this has somehow become the norm for the most wonderful time of the year. Meanwhile, the storyline has been established that "Xmas" is a time for giving.

NO, IT'S NOT! If we can, let's rewind a couple of millenia before all of the propaganda and look at this day honestly. Christmas - the day of Christ's birth - is a gift from God to all of us. Yes, Baby Jesus did receive gifts from certain travelers, yet the message was - whether you believe he was/is the son of God or not - that Jesus was a gift to the world that day. As Christians, the profound message of Christmas is that God sent His Son to Earth to teach us the way to live and then die to prepare us a way to eternal life. Because of this belief, we believe that Christmas is the day we celebrate receiving the gifts of peace, life, joy, and love. Scripture does require that we give many things throughout our lifetimes, however the story of the first Christmas makes no reference to us writing down lists of things that we want so that we may (earmuffs, kids) mail them off to a fictional character at the North Pole, nor spend all free time stressing to buy everyone you might see on Jesus' birthday a gift that proportionally equates to the one you expect from them. Christmas, quite simply, has been taken over by a great many who have no desire at all to celebrate the gift of Jesus. Everywhere you look, Christmas is proclaimed as a time for giving, yet nobody wants to tell you why, other than it is how we should behave everyday.

No one in the history of the world has been so ceremoniously and willfully ignored on their birthday as Jesus of Nazareth. If you don't believe He is the Son of God...fine, don't believe it; we still welcome you to celebrate the principles He came to proclaim. However, ignoring Jesus as THE GIFT of Christmas is a travesty that has gone on way too long and become way too popular. Just as we should remember any great man or woman on their designated day and try to honor the difference they made in the world by introspectively seeking how we might continue their legacy in our own lives, we should do likewise to honor this man who was a teacher, a healer, a friend, a son, a martyr, and a leader. Christian or not, if we are to celebrate December 25th, we must make it a day of the memory of the man. Do whatever else you will, but the real gift is what has already been given to us. Receiving sounds selfish, but in all reality, it is the difficult task of opening our hearts to change, forgiveness, contrition, sorrow, grief, enlightenment, and love. If we can focus on receiving these things, rather than giving toys and scarves out of expectation, we will have found the true reason for the season.

Dear Saint Nick

Dear Saint Nicholas,

I was thinking of what to write - perhaps a grown-up's Christmas list like in the song and go for things like world peace and such... or get really personal and ask for more than I'm comfortable doing in front of the whole world, especially whomever is checking this out from Russia... or... or...

It's been a long time since I've actually thought about what I would want as a gift. In fact, this is usually the time of year I am working as much as possible and preparing for a quiet, somewhat lonely two days off in the city wondering what other "orphans" will be in town, far away from their families too. Doesn't leave much opportunity for gift giving and receiving. So, long story short, I'm sorry I haven't written in a long time, but I've tried to shoot for the "nice" category, and I hope records will reflect that.

After lengthy consultation with my agent, we have decided to petition you, not as the guy with the reindeer from the North Pole, but as the Patron Saint of voyagers, travelers, marriageable maidens, children, captives, scholars, laborers, and mariners. To truly do justice to your legacy, we should honor your dedication to selfless giving and protection of those in need. Therefore, I'm not going to ask you for much of anything! In fact, I'd like to thank you. You, in turn, can pass on my thanks to anyone above your pay grade. Deal?

Thank you for my safe passages to London, Athens, Port-Au-Prince, Beijing, Tokyo, Bogota, and so many others. My travels by rail, sea, plane, motorcycle, and automobile have been successful and generally unscathed excursions. Thank you for finding so many quality marital matches for the good people in my life. What a blessing it has been to have been witness to so many good people choosing to vow their lives to each other in the formation of family and the promise of forever. Thank you for looking out for four wonderful nieces of mine over the years. They all are fortunate to exhibit each a spirit
unique, yet common, in brightening the lives of their fathers and uncles. Thank you for showing me that labor can not only be a work of art, but a profound duty. Many do not appreciate how working in the service of others is necessary for the soul. Thank you for guiding all of us, who have been found captive in some manner, the way out. Hope, direction, and inspiration are what help us thrive in the darkness. Finally, thank you for bringing me back to California for Christmas. While I may not have a stocking or a
tree, I will be thankful for the gift of family and home at long last. And please, my only request will be that I might have the peace of mind of not yearning for what is not here, but instead take calm satisfaction from all of the gifts we already have come to enjoy as magnificent blessings.

Merry Christmas.

A Few of My Favorite Things

These are a few of my favorite things:

A church full of people and families singing "Joy to the World" and "Oh Come, All Ye Faithful"; my dad's voice when he receives my call (even when he thinks I am Brian); my mom's unfailing love of her sons; the memory of being carried on my Uncle Sam's shoulders; having people appreciate me feeding them; patting an airplane good luck as I step through it's door on another journey; an American flag waving in the sunlight; Prosciutto San Danielle; jogging by the White House listening to the theme from "West Wing"; movie bingeing at Oscar time; US Soccer World Cup goals; Barolo and Amarone; stepping foot in a new country; swimming in the ocean at Waikiki; my nieces when they are happy to see me; shaking my friend Lou's hand on Friday evening; eating Maryland crabs with Phil; stepping off the train in Penn Station; when she smiles at me; big days; seeing the honest face of a champion and remembering the feeling; Double Double and chocolate milkshake on the patio of the LAX-adjacent In-N-Out in the sun, watching the planes; Rosa Maria's burrito; seeing Manuel as a father; randomly hearing from Shaun Cunanan; Iberico Bellota porkbelly... u-h-hhhh; having a beer with Brian and/or Tom; Van Halen live, or when I least expect to hear it; occasions that permit me to wear a suit; works of Mozart or Beethoven performed live by great musicians; cooking with KP; seeing TY Flinton walk through the restaurant door and most of the ensuing hours that follow; talking with Stefanie from across the country, sounding like from around the corner; sunsets unencumbered by buildings; riding bikes in Davis; waterskiing diversions; snowflakes; KARAOKE; lunch on Zaytinya's patio; Jennifer asking me how I am doing; seeing old friends; ceviche and a pisco sour in Lima; dinner at Il Latini in Florence; breakfast on Main Street in HB; walking back into Lucy's; sitting atop Huayna Picchu; Fourth of July; Thanksgiving; CHRISTMAS!

I have been so blessed, it would seem silly to ever be wanting for a gift, although I would always happily receive one. Merry Christmas to my family and many friends near and far. May this season likewise bring you joy as you remember too your favorite things.

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Christmas in December

Back by popular demand, it's Christmas... in December. Yes, indeed Christmas is a season of charity, sharing, celebrating... of thanksgiving, of love, and of hope. But, you knew all that, right? Why, then? In a word - joy. Everyone wants joy. Everyone yearns to be able to celebrate life. Well, my friends, 'tis the season. Even if you believe this Jesus character is the center of the world's greatest scam - which I do not - our culture, at least as Americans, has granted us this season to hope for joy. There are carols, and parties, and, and... tubas! Major cities nearly shut down, millions of people travel to be with their families, and prodigals swarm to fill churches to capacity! What the hell is going on?! Well, it's not Hell; it's Christmas.

I only bring this up, because we are perhaps too familiar with Christmas. This is not to bemoan the commercialism aspect. This is not to remind you to believe in Jesus Christ. We are familiar with the trees, the music, the movies, and gift-giving that has become the ritual of the season. What we tend to lose is the joy that life can bring when we let it - when we hope. I forewarned two years ago of a peddler of "hope" that he would not succeed if it did not spring from the human spirit. As children, we learn of hope and the true meaning of Christmas... and we get it. And then, we get selfish. Then, we get skeptical. Then, we forget what this time is all about.

If we are to properly explore Christmas, at the risk of infuriating millions of Christians (yes, I'm that widely read), we must harken back to Groundhog Day. I'm actually talking about the movie - Groundhog Day. Bill Murray (also starred in Scrooged, hmm) played a character who basically was forced to discover the meaning of life, one day at a time, the same day, until he got it right. He was forced to, not only discover, but CREATE joy. That movie was about Christmas, because like Christmas, it was about new life. God willing, we will get many do-overs of Christmas. What do you think it will look like when we get it right?

Merry Christmas.

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Lessons I Learned From My Dad

Lessons I Learned From My Dad

Feed others, and serve yourself last. Get out and walk; walking cures everything. Check your tires. Coach. Where you come from is less important than where you are going. Don't take things from hotels that don't belong to you. Consolidate. In case of death, natural disaster, or nuclear war, you may need to know how to clean the pool, turn off the water pipes, or fix the toilet. Stand up for yourself. Be aggressive. Practice. Take your commitments seriously. Be discrete. Take vacations. A person's skin color signifies neither value nor lack thereof. Enjoy jazz. Look people in the eyes. Take care of your health. Don't be late. Enjoy sports for the game, not for statistics. Possessions are not a measure of a man's worth. Be proud of the military. Dine out. Be your own man. Keep accurate records. If you buy a live Christmas tree and keep it potted and watered on your porch, you don't have to buy a new one every year. Call your mother.

All I Want for Christmas is You(r money)!

When you live in DC long enough, you can sniff out the crackheads. My friend Phil and I counted about eight one day in our encounters. I was up quite early this morning to get a start on my Christmas day. Last night was great; mass at Saint Patrick's, dinner at the Blueduck Tavern, then joined some old friends for a pretty early night. As I walked out to the Metro this morning in Northwest DC, all was quiet. Then a seemingly distraught woman waddled up to me, just her keys and work badge in hand. Now if a person looks legit, I'll hear them out. She claimed she just had a fight with her boyfriend and needed cab fare to her mother's house. Cab fare?! And I'm walking to the train to go to Virginia... A few questions were in order, because usually you can get a crackhead to crumble. Anyway, she refused my good-natured Christmas offer for a paid trip on the Metro because she had an injured leg and supposedly couldn't walk two blocks to the station. Crackhead confirmed... gotta go. Plus why would she think that because she was "a DC city employee" that I wouldn't think she was a bum? She probably voted for Marion Barry.

I'm going to make some coffee, open some presents, and we'll see if we can put a little "Christ" back in X-mas. Merry Christmas!