The January 6 Capitol Riot and Inhumanity Boiling Over

There have been a number of things over time that I have felt go without saying. 

However, violence and chaos in protest have no place in a civil society. Though perhaps we have not been so civil for some time. For a good part of last year, violence and chaos in protest were normalized by many on social media, on television, and from our leaders. I support my fellow Americans' right to assemble and protest - whether or not I support your cause - but I think we have all seen that when we lose control and resort to destruction, America loses. Indeed lives and livelihoods are lost as well. This cannot continue. 

In two weeks, we will have a new president, but that will not change how we have chosen to divide this country. First, we need to be honest and mindful and have fidelity to what makes us a people - neither color, nor party, nor religion, nor historical ethnicity. We don't have to always agree, but we do have to agree to disagree peacefully. Even if you believe your brother has strayed, you must always consider his humanity. Unfortunately, social media is prone to allowing us to treat one another with disdain, ridicule, and even inhumanity. That is either bleeding over into real human interaction or it is our nature which we have been trained to restrain in polite society. Either way, our country and our world depend on us being better. 

God, bless America.

Redskins Can Keep Their Name

Some Native Perspective

Years ago, I asked my dad - a full-blooded American Indian - what he thought about the Washington Redskins team name and if it should be changed. The look on his face was resolute and his response was quick. With almost a chuckle, he said, "I hope they don't change the name." Just as with many queries, Dad had no interest in being convinced. The younger mind might easily write off such a dismissal as short-sighted or obtuse. The only problem was my dad wasn't either of those things.

When I moved to DC in 2000, I decided I would try to settle in and root for the local teams. Football season made it hard, but I cheered for the Redskins, hoping they would do well. However, my first impression was not a good one. They would find ways to lose every week, and it seemed that they fired a kicker every game - that was personal, as I used to be a kicker. I think after Week 5, I swore them off, but at that point hadn't thought much about the team name.

Where I grew up, my friends were White, Hispanic, Black, and Asian. I'm a special blend. The only Native Americans I knew were in my family. My friends and I grew up with a healthy sense of humor about our differences, and perhaps I was lucky not to have been born a certain color or in a place that made me a target because of how I looked. No one ever called me a "redskin." I had heard the term more historically, but never as a contemporary insult. On the contrary, people have always regarded my heritage from my dad's side with a certain reverence - even undue sometimes it felt.

Growing in my country and traveling quite a bit, I have gained some different perspectives. The United States is full of strangeness and inconsistencies. I remember the first time I heard a mayor refer to his city as a "chocolate city." Is that okay? It must be, since no one seemed to care. Some time later, Chris Rock did a standup routine that featured how peculiar it was that the Redskins team name exists, but would not be tolerable to name a team after any other racial group, especially with a pejorative. That resonated with me. I often posed the question to friends: "Why don't they change the name to Blackskins? Oh, would that be racist?" The team name never kept me up at night, but I always resented the double standard that I perceived. What's more, my thoughts on the subject - as a tribal member - didn't seem to change anybody's minds. So, I just decided not to watch the team, or if unavoidable to root against them.

There have been different opinions on the "Redskins" team name over the years, but what has seemed to be clear - owner Dan Snyder, Washingtonians, and 'Skins fans do not care what I think. As far as I know, before a few days ago, other than as a casual liberal stance, nobody really cared about the team name. Sure, some television announcers would find creative ways of referring to the DC football team without saying it, and you'd hear musings by miscellaneous White people from time to time. But FedEx didn't care. Pepsi didn't care. Nike didn't care... All of a sudden, people and corporations seem to care about changing the name - or to force a change rather - enough so that it seems inevitable that a new name is afoot.

Oddly enough, I've changed my mind.

DC, Snyder, you can keep your name, as far as I'm concerned. I don't care anymore. I won't buy your product, but I don't care about your team name. It's clear you are only considering a change because you may no longer have the option. People think they are doing some heroic thing by strong-arming a business that has no interest in changing their own image. As far as I'm concerned, the Redskins name is just the newest statue to bring down by force for points while everyone is watching.

Perhaps in Dad's wisdom, worrying about someone else's team or business name is a frivolous endeavor. Concluding that this far into my blog entry is actually somewhat annoying, but here we are. Perhaps Dad's pride in himself and the things he could control was what led him to chuckle at my question. Or maybe he liked the name. In any case, do what you like; it has no effect on my life.

Exploring Qatar and the Delights of Doha

Getting to know the Middle East

National Museum of Qatar

Raise your hand if you think of the Middle East as one big scary sandbox in some far off corner of the world where no one knows how to play nice. I think I can speak for many Americans when I say that most of the countries from Libya to Pakistan are toward the bottom of our travel lists. However, if you do want to start exploring the region, I do suggest Qatar.

First of all, the place is fairly tiny, measuring close to fifty by one hundred miles - a peninsula nation sitting in the Persian Gulf, attached to the north of Saudi Arabia. Just across the gulf is Iran. I have mentioned before that if there isn't at least some small element of fear in your world travels, you're doing it wrong. This is not to say that Qatar should make you afraid - quite the contrary - but venturing here does seem a bit like you are very far from home and should be on your very best behavior.

Old world meets new world

Dusty and quiet were my first impressions. The occasional call to prayer from nearby mosques cuts through the peaceful calm for the uninitiated, but after a while, it adds a bit of color to the simply tan-hued landscape which is much of the surroundings of the newer downtown skyscraper-laden big city. Men and women don what I would call robes, and are mostly conservatively, yet stylishly in many cases, covered from head to toe. The Westerner would see that as a requirement, but there is no such expectation that he or she follow suit. The souq is a market, or bazaar, and is a bustling tourist attraction come to life with hookah, coffee vendors, restaurants, and textiles. Some of the more affluent may be seen out with their falcons for a stroll. One thing you won't see is alcohol being consumed, unless you seek it out within the confines of certain more expensive hotels.

Traditional wooden dhow and Doha skyline

Culinarily speaking, I got a similar vibe to Singapore - that we were at a crossroads of many different cultures, and was hard-pressed to find something distinctly Qatari to eat. However, I did delight in being able to find Persian, Indian, Iraqi, Lebanese, and other cuisines from the broader region. Dates are a staple and are plentiful. Aside from Arabic coffee, one of my favorite drinks there is a boldly delicious and refreshing sweet lemon and mint. Shawarma lovers can indulge cheaply with beef or chicken cut from the spit and wrapped to go in toasty flatbread.

Lemon and mint beverage at Adhamiya
in Souq Waqif

Arabic is the official language of Qatar, but since Qataris are so rich, they have invited many Filipinos and other English speakers to do the work they don't want to do. Therefore, it is quite easy to get around speaking English most places you would be interested to go. The subway system is new and cheap and clean and glorious - only 2 Riyals (55 cents USD) to and from anywhere in the system. Soccer fans may already know the 2022 FIFA World Cup will be played in Doha, and the country is busy readying itself to accommodate. One of the top airlines in the world - Qatar Airways - connects the world to Doha and Hamad International Airport (DOH) is a quick and easy Uber or train ride from the city.

Nightlife in Doha 

Visiting Doha on a tight budget may be a good opportunity to explore more daytime activities, as you will not find pubs unless you go to certain hotels. Even in these establishments, often they are sparsely populated if you go anywhere on a backpacker's rations, and the cheapest beer will likely cost upwards of 50 QAR (around $13) for a pint. However, my new favorite place (after a few more visits from this original post) is Krossroads Club at the top floor of Best Western Plus where they have live music, a largely Filipino staff, complimentary popcorn, and half-off specials for happy hour that lasts until 8pm. It gets a decent crowd and has a fun vibe.

Katara Cultural Village

Is Mamba Mentality to Blame for The Girls' Deaths?

Don't hate me for asking the question. I'm a life-long Lakers fan as well as a Kobe Bryant fan. But even prior to the ascendancy and dominance of "The Black Mamba," I was a girl-uncle and a coach charged with the safety of teams of teenage girls.

How difficult must it have been to say no to Kobe Bryant? We'll get to the helicopter pilot in a minute. It seems the only time the Lakers organization told him no was when he asked to be traded. Over Kobe's career, he rightfully opened many doors for himself, gaining accolades and fame. Former teammates referred to his style as making people uncomfortable, which forced them to be better - setting a standard so high, while producing results, that those who did not crumble around him achieved a greater level of self. His work ethic and style of play became well-known and eventually revered. He became an international superstar.

Certainly, "Mamba Mentality" can be encapsulated by several tenets, among them: consistency, poise, pursuit of greatness, overcoming adversity, focus, relentlessness, no excuses, and fearlessness. Given the outpouring of respect after his passing for what Kobe Bryant was able to achieve as a basketball player, his approach to sport has become a bible for athletes and an enduring legacy for all who remember him. With his days as a professional athlete behind him, Kobe was able to apply his considerable talents, wealth, and celebrity to new endeavors in cinema and literary arts, charity, business, and youth sports. No doubt the "Mamba Mentality" continued to fuel his drive and color his influence.

We may never know the answers to the following questions, yet they should be addressed. Did pilot Ara Zobayan feel pressured to fly in unsafe conditions because of perceived or explicit expectations by Bryant? Did parents allow their 13-year-old daughters to fly in the fog in a helicopter because of similar expectations, out of infatuation with fame by association, or just a perception of safety? Did Kobe imagine flying when other helicopters were grounded was a better choice than waiting for clearer skies because of a basketball game? Was establishing the Mamba Academy two counties away from home (with LA in between), supposedly necessitating regular air travel, the best choice a father could make for his teen daughter and family? Do the pressures we put on ourselves and children, ostensibly to live our best lives, create greater risks than they should? Is it possible that the "Mamba Mentality" - seemingly rooted in self-centered goals and ruthless domination - may produce collateral damage for children off the court?

By all accounts, Kobe Bryant was a great man both on and off the basketball court. Nothing can take away from that. The vast display of achievements, good deeds, and love by this man will forever be etched in the minds of those with whom he shared space on this planet. The "Mamba Mentality" will endure as a guide and inspiration for athletes and others seeking greatness. I just ask that when it comes to the safety and well-being of children, we are able to consciously suspend ourselves from ego, ambition, and societal popularity on a regular basis to make decisions that do not put them in harm's way.

Ella's Voyage

One of the greatest gifts in travel is meeting good and interesting new people. Especially while traveling abroad, exploring someone else's perspective and history is truly a worthwhile key to a journey.  I can't actually claim this person as a true friend; we never met, and our conversations were quite limited via social media after I learned of her plight. However, I feel compelled to share just a small slice of her story, since for some reason it intersected and resonated with mine. I didn't want this year to pass without remembering her.

Ella was a Filipino, a swimmer, a student, a wanderluster, a mother to a young daughter... and a fighter. Beyond that, I should not pretend to know much more about her, except that she only lived to see the age of 26. And we shared the same blood type. Perhaps she would not care to be remembered for her illness; I mean, who would? But I think, at least for the story my discoveries are meant to serve, it should be told that she found herself in a fight to survive a disease that ravaged her kidneys. This meant she needed to find a donor - her "bean voyage," she called it. How interesting that she saw a powerless plea for help to save her life as a voyage. Now that I think about it, perhaps that is what piqued my curiosity.

She fought, and people would say she "lost her battle," but do we all lose when we die?  To talk about life in terms of winning and losing is pretty odd. When we talk about major illness, it's always referred to as a "battle." War is a competition comprised of battles, but the reality is that participants historically don't do it as much to win but to survive (or so that others will survive). War for those who fight is less about choices than staring down an ugly reality and doing what you must. Maybe illness is the same. It found you, and you can either marshal all energies within yourself to try to overcome it, or you can accept your demise. Or maybe it's both. Human nature is to fight back; your body does it without you even thinking about it throughout your life. But is it fair to say that when every person dies, he or she is conquered? Death is not defeat - not of the human spirit anyway; it is merely proof that one has lived.

Usually there is some hope or possibility that you can win in other competitions. Marathons are different. Out of hundreds of contestants, there is only one winner, and really only a small handful who have any expectation of being able to win. As opposed to most other competitions, participating has nothing to do with actually winning, but of some individual sense of accomplishment. In fact, many marathon runners compete to improve on their personal best, while others strive for the sole purpose of finishing. Life has many parallels, however no one does it simply to finish. You could say many want to finish well, or make a significant accomplishment along the way. But finishing is inevitable - even early, finishing life should not be a defeat.

Why write in theory about the life of someone I never met, simply because she passed? She even wanted to pass on quietly, I'm told. But it should be known that she fought; she lived; she had hopes, and she struggled against incredible odds - relying on the potential kindness of strangers. Hopefully that voyage took her someplace beautiful. Hopefully strangers can be kind because she lived. Wouldn't that be something?

Voyage in Peace

Cresella Laxa Arcaya

February 4, 1993 - July 21, 2019

Photo credit: Ella Arcaya

Link to Ella's Story

CHRONIC KIDNEY DISEASE HAS NO CURE AND A TRANSPLANT IS THE ONLY HOPE FOR MANY TO LIVE A LONG LIFE.

#ShareYourSpare

Information about Kidney Donation

To be clear, the fact that we shared a blood type should not deceive you into thinking I did anything to help her other than offer words of encouragement. I did, however, visit the Chong Hua hospital in Cebu, where Ella underwent regular dialysis, with the hope of gaining information about donorship and possibly helping to spread her plight.

So Far (2019)

 

So far, I have learned a few things that I should never forget.

Don't leave your phone charging while you go to the airport to fly across the country.

Travel with your parents. Your life is an extension of them, so you should avail yourself of their expertise and wisdom in how they navigate the world.

Feeding is an act of love. Providing food is one of humankind's oldest traditions and begins from mother to child.  It can demonstrate respect, admiration, gratitude, responsibility, and compassion – all components of love.

Always pack a change of clothes in your carry-on.

Burglars work on Christmas Eve.

Go to special events, even if they are far away. In joy and in grief, be a person who shows up.

Helping people can be simple or profoundly complex. Don't let either make you choose to do nothing.

Phones don't belong at the dinner table. People who want to reach you are important, but the ones who dedicate time to be with you deserve the honor of your mental presence.

You don't usually know which day will change your life forever until it does.

Talking to strangers while traveling can have mixed results, but your odds are worse if you do not initiate the exchange.

True service is not simply an execution of actions to fulfill a desire or need; it is one of the few pieces of the evidence of humanity, because it recognizes intrinsic human worth and dedicates something of our own being to do what is necessary and good – often without equal compensation.

Say thank you - in as many languages and deeds as properly convey the message. 

The fool is often easy to spot, in that they portray knowledge but lack curiosity.

Remember on your bad days, you woke up and someone else did not.

In choosing a karaoke song, listen first to what interests others. If they recommend for you, try not to decline. Never assume someone wants a Richie Sambora to their Jon Bon Jovi. It is seldom polite to leave right after you sing; the singer after you was your audience.

Some of the most profound thoughts about life occur outdoors, appreciating art, or listening to children - just not necessarily all at the same time.

Watch out for motorcycles.

So Far (2016 Video) 

So Far (2013) 

Beyond the Sunset - In Memory of Gemma Paybara

For My Friend Gemma

I don't travel with many people. Or should I say not many people travel with me? In either case, I have been lucky to encounter so many people along the way. Everyone has their own journey to take, and fortune allows our paths to cross sometimes. If we pay attention, we see we are blessed with some very good people to either join us or at least stop and see along the way.

My friend Gemma came to me and offered that we should both visit New York City for the first time together back in August of 1998. We drove in her car from Washington, DC, and just before we entered the city, she asked me if I would switch seats and take the wheel going through the Holland Tunnel and into the bustling metropolis that was still foreign to us. I obliged, even if a bit nervous myself imagining what madness and dangers we might encounter. That was the only time I remember her nervous or not smiling. Two curious souls spent about a day and a half from Central Park to the Statue of Liberty to the tops of the Empire State Building and the World Trade Center. Her smile was not gone for long.

Years would pass, and we would go our separate ways finding new adventures and international discoveries. She and her sister even showed up in Florence, Italy when I was studying there for a time. I had to reprimand her for bringing instant cappuccino mix into my apartment that was situated just two floors above a real Italian cafe where you could get the real thing for just a couple Euro. Later I would visit her and husband Joe in San Francisco, and I remember seeing her beautiful photographs from their honeymoon in Asia. We truly shared a curiosity for the world.

For some reason, I don't spend much time wondering why a woman in her forties, mother to two young children, friend to many, loving wife, and explorer of the world should be taken from us too soon. Perhaps because the life in her years was abundant. Perhaps it is to make the rest of us stop and appreciate the people around us and the world in which we walk. But my friend has moved on, and now a lifetime of warm smiles only exist in our minds and in the photos we keep.

Travelers are often privy to the opportunity of time and place to appreciate the extraordinary, such as the colors of the sky as the sun sets at the end of the day. Gemma would have known and appreciated this. I'd like to think she has now gone beyond the sunset and is on an exquisite new journey the likes of which we couldn't possibly fathom. The space between is only what we can see in the beauty of this Earth - which itself is vast. So for now she can travel with us in our hearts, or at least her smile can, because I'm not sure I can shake it. Nor do I wish to.

Rest in peace, my friend.

Orvieto, Italy

Central Park, New York City