Why We Try

If at first you don’t succeed, try, try… try again. Right? Perhaps. Obviously, any goal worth attaining is worth expending the required energies to achieve, but what exactly is it to try? Yoda famously preached that “there is no ‘try’”, and one must simply “do or do not.” That assumes, of course, that one has the ultimate power of achieving the desired outcome. We all know that, due to any number of variables and obstacles, the doing just may not be in the cards. Yet we try, because of one reason – hope. Hope is a powerful notion. It gives us courage, creativity, and resilience. It gives us a reason, drive, and purpose. Hope turns a boy into a man and a peasant into a king. Hope can also make you a bit crazy. When all hope is lost, we have no reason to try. However, a drop of hope can be like an ocean. We try because we believe. We fail only when we do not stay true to the endeavor. The best endeavors are dreams that light the fire of your heart to find the way in the dark and guide you to a place you have never been... I hope.

So Far... (2013)

So far, I have learned a few things which I should never forget:

Some of the greatest finds are unexpected. Appreciate beauty in all of its forms. Study what interests you, and even some of the things that don’t. The airline may forgive your tardiness, however showing up the next day is just stupid. Look out for big metal poles in playgrounds when playing with children or driving your truck in reverse. Sometimes you must recant. Say thank you. Best intentions matter little to: thieves, women, cancer, customers, and Samuel L. Jackson. If your uncle calls you on his birthday, you could probably be a better nephew. Most opportunities are created. You must be present to win. There is no shame in losing, only in not learning from defeat. Sometimes it’s better just to take a cab. Call your mother. Life is temporary – treat it well. Angels exist. Go out and meet the world, because it really wants to meet you. Never trust a Greek cab driver at the drop-off point of the bus from the airport in Athens. It’s easy to wake up early when you sleep in your car. Narita Airport does not have 24-hour public transportation into Tokyo. The train station in Rome closes. Feed people. 21^st Century technology is no substitute for face-to-face communication. Give up your seat for a lady. Don’t spend all your money on a first date, even if she’s worth it. Get out and walk. Teach others what you know, and always be open to learn more. Love is a decision, as well as a commandment. Never trust the people at the drive-thru to get your order correct, without checking, if it’s that big a deal. You must be an active participant in your own rescue. Empathize. Say what you mean. Laugh. Smile. Watch out for motorcycles.

Wildest Moments

Attention all world travelers: what you seek may not be found in books or on maps. There is a good chance you are looking for moments. You know, those moments when you realize you have found something uniquely special that you are certain you will talk and think about forever? You know when you are in the moment, however it is oftentimes difficult to discern when that moment begins and when it ends. Of course, some time after the fact, you may be able to pinpoint the duration of your moment with precision. Sometimes you decide. Other times, you simply enjoy it for what it is. Still others, you hang on for dear life like on a roller coaster or in a great movie. The wildest moments are just that - untamed and out of your hands. You can pray to be able to hold on or revisit, but the wildest moments are completely unpredictable... and they are precisely the goal of many a world traveler. This is not to say you seek out fleeting moments, but rather welcome the experience that others dare not - the best or worst in this world - and are willing to take the chance for that journey. The wildest moments are indeed a gamble, but they are the wind in many a sail. In many cases, they are your inspiration. The best, they become your reason.

Change

I was thinking about how strange it is for us to accept change. People are always saying, "change is good," but in my experience those are the same people who either are trying to convince themselves of it or those who are trying to impose change on you. Consider David Hasselhoff going into singing, Justin Timberlake taking up acting, or Paris Hilton... becoming a businesswoman; we're skeptical, and for good reason. I have already mentioned in an earlier post about how the entire cast of Grey's Anatomy breaking out into song one episode gave me the heebeegeebees. There is a certain transition that needs to take place in our minds from the known to the unknown. Hamlet struggled with this notion, as evident in his famous "To be or not to be..." soliloquy, and I believe it is quite a universal quandary (maybe not the whole suicide/death thing, but, you know).

Now, certain changes just happen - perhaps not spontaneously, however - due to unexpected (or even expected) variables, and there is nothing that can be done about it except accept the transition as truth. These changes are forced. Other changes are decided, planned, and executed. Oftentimes, these changes are more difficult.

I learned a lot from my time as a high school soccer coach. My determination was inspired by those girls and their potential for something great. Odds were that none of my junior varsity players would go on to play for the national team or have professional careers in the sport, so I made the focus of our training about learning how to win. Much of our discussions hinged upon a personal decision to reach our goals; I realized early on that girls and boys approach sports differently, yet this intrigued me as universal. One thing my players taught me was that it was impossible to force my will on them, whether it be to have a game face or to have a league championship be the only acceptable conclusion to the season. So, it became my duty to try to inspire the fundamental ability to change one's behaviors in a positive manner when on a quest for anything worth conquering. I gave a lot of advice from as young as eighteen years-old that I think, even at the time, would take a strong constitution to live up to - certainly stronger than I exemplified - yet I knew we were all on a mission to someday grow into the people we needed to become.

While change takes place constantly, for better or for worse, I think it is always important to recognize our capacity for it. Indeed some of the best changes occur when we confront our obstacles and decide to overcome them for some greater purpose. I am always thankful for those angels charged with inspiring such action, even when it is not pleasant.

Lost In Translation

In the beginning, there was perfection.  Adam and Eve had it, and they just threw it all away. God knew this would happen, but I think He thinks that imperfection is what keeps things interesting. This is not to imply that sin is interesting, but as flawed humans we really keep existence a unique and unpredictable story. Somewhere down the line, we all got dispersed into different lands, speaking different tongues, and believing different truths. Not only were we imperfect, but we were isolated, couldn’t understand one another, and might not want to if we could. Today we are less isolated than any time in recent human history, yet important things still get lost in translation.

Every international traveler understands that communication is one of the key elements to a successful journey. Not only must you say the right words with the proper annunciation, you have to be aware of cultural differences that may impact the meaning of what you say, you have to be mindful of political notions and assumptions, and – perhaps most difficult – you have to understand the answer that comes back to you! I have few memories of early childhood, but I do have a recollection from my first international trip. In Puerto Vallarta, I was about four or five and met a same-aged Mexican boy named Oscar. I spoke no Spanish, and he spoke no English, yet we had the best time running from place to place, just playing by the pool. We just wanted to have fun… and play. We hadn’t yet been corrupted by a world that told us we were different and that the unknown should not be trusted. Three decades later, I visited Haiti by myself, only to be met at the airport by “a one-armed man and a fat man named ‘Big’.” I was pretty terrified, to be honest, until I safely reached my destination. I didn’t speak the language, my knowledge led me to believe I was in a dangerous place, and what I didn’t know was keeping me from enjoying the moment, which was the arrival to a beautiful new country. In contrast, I have since visited countries - notably Colombia, Italy, England, Turkey, and Japan – where I was with people whom I trusted, and the fear of the unknown nearly disappears.

I have probably never been a great on-the-spot communicator. That is probably why I like to write. I talk to people every day for work, and people confuse my need to be accurate with some sort of deception. Honesty comes off as diplomatic, and taking too long to make a decision comes across as concealment. Of course, these people don’t know me, and they don’t trust me. Why should they? Communication is a tricky game. Seeing as how the stated goal of this blog is international tranquility, I suppose the take-away from this is (1) people communicate in different ways and (2) what’s lost in translation – even in the same language – may be due to fear or a lack of trust. What do we do? I guess you just keep trying, and try to keep an open mind and heart… and always get a ride from the airport.

Mom Revisits New York

Times Square



Shopping



Exploring Central Park

 

Walking across the Brooklyn Bridge

Grimaldi's Pizzeria




View of Lower Manhattan from Brooklyn

Water Taxi out to see Lady Liberty

Freedom Tower rising up

9/11 Memorial

http://longisland.newsday.com/911-anniversary/victims/Andrew-Jordan

http://longisland.newsday.com/911-anniversary/victims/Thomas-Kuveikis

http://longisland.newsday.com/911-anniversary/victims/Christopher-Sullivan

To the Graduating Class of 1993

To the Graduating Class of 1993:

Today, the seventeenth of June 1993, as your honored speaker, I would like to tell you that you may not remember one word spoken from this podium in twenty years time.  However, you should remember that it was a special day. That being said, I would like to leave you with a glimpse into the future as you move on into this unique journey of life. 

Twenty years from now, you may not recognize yourself - but don't be afraid, because so many events will transpire that will shape you into a different version. You will always have certain traits that may help identify you, but I want you to be open to the idea that you may never be the exact person you hope today to be. The world seems limitless today, and it should.  So many things will happen to you, and you will happen to a great many others. 

In the coming years and decades, nothing is certain but constant evolution. You will work and leave employment. You will lose someone close to you. You will be disappointed, and you will be elated. You may travel the world and have adventures. Someone will have faith in you. You may fall in love. You will make mistakes. You may find yourself doing something you were sure you would never do. You will discover true friendship. You will see your family in a different light. Answers will come, and more questions will arise. You will be lost, and you will show others the way. You will learn and see and do so much. You will be shocked by events that happen across the globe and numbed by some that happen in your own town. You will be angry. You will be forgiven.  You will receive so many gifts, and you will gain a greater appreciation for the value and consequences of your decisions. You will never know it all, but you will gain wisdom. Eventually, your story will unfold, and hindsight will draw reason from chaos.  

With all of this uncertainty, you absolutely must do something for yourself and for the world that is of great importance - you must have special days. Today is a special day, and you chose to have it. After close to eighteen years of things way beyond your control, you chose to create this special day. As decisions become more and more your own, the value of your life will be determined by the special days you chose. By creating the experiences that define you, you bring purpose to your human story. Some things are almost completely under your control, and when you force these days that bring butterflies to stomachs, you create the moments of life that matter. It is not enough for you to be able to say you followed the recipe, when you were the reason the world would have flavor. 

In twenty years, you will look back at this day as a fond memory. You will know that you really were quite clueless, and you will wish you could whisper some secrets to the mystery of the world in that young ear. Of course, you probably wouldn't have listened. So enjoy this day - nay, savor it - and use the time you have in a way that continues to give butterflies... in your own special way.

So, congratulations to the Class of '93, and may today never be your best day.