Books Covered - How Well Do You Really Know the People in Your Life?

We meet quite a few people over the course of our lives. Some you meet at a dinner party and never see again, some you know from working in the same building, and some you have as friends for a lifetime. Whichever is the case, even the people you are closest to - how well do you actually know them? Perhaps we learn mostly what is convenient to know. Perhaps we share only what we believe is necessary to be revealed. Information is being consumed at an unprecedented rate, however, how much tells the true story of one's life?

All people act in their own self-interest. That doesn't mean we are all selfish, but we are all hard-wired for self-preservation and reveal accordingly. There are many things we are conspicuous about, because that is the image of ourselves that we want portrayed. Certain details are kept private and remain that way for a lifetime. However there is much information in between that is periodically granted access to based on trust and circumstance. For instance, I may not mind if the world knows that I am fond of Italian food, yet the details of my Italian travels may be carefully disseminated or protected.

My main point here is not that we all keep secrets, but how well do we actually know the people - friends, lovers, family members - whom we count as closest? What kind of effort do we make? Everyone has something unique going on in their lives; we all have triumphs, and we all have challenges. Each one of us has our own unique path, and many journey alone. What intrigues me in all of this is not how this is really quite obvious, but if the people closest to you were all thought of as books, how well would you know each book? Furthermore, what role do you play in their autobiography?

There are many distractions on this road of life. Sometimes we miss the signs or just ignore them altogether. How many of the following questions would you be able to answer about the people with whom you spend time every day:

1. What is your life's ambition?
2. Who do you miss right now?
3. What is something about you that most people don't realize?
4. How will you like to be remembered?
5. What was your best day?
6. What challenge are you facing right now, and how can I help?
7. What do you think about most outside of work?
8. If you could be anywhere right now, where would that be?
9. What inspires you?
10. What makes you happy?
11. What would be the title of this chapter of your life in your autobiography?
12. Genie appears from the lamp. What are your three wishes?
13. What event would you most like to be a part of?

Perhaps, in delving into the true content of the books on our shelves, our lives will all be a little richer for it. Perhaps we will unlock stories we never could have imagined.

My Brother, The Hero - Brian Porter, USMC

“Some people spend an entire lifetime wondering if they made a difference in the world. But, the Marines don't have that problem.”

-Ronald Reagan

My brother retires from the Marine Corps today after decades of service. I went to see him graduate from boot camp in 1988, and I have been impressed with Marines ever since. He served in a tank in Iraq and Kuwait and trained in different spots around the world. I asked him his opinion last year about the President having a Marine hold an umbrella for him in the rain for a speech, and he said, "Mark, every Marine is on umbrella detail; every American is protected whether they realize it or not." 

Thank you for your service, and remember - you don't need to wear a patch on your arm to have honor.

The Case for America

There is plenty not to like about our country right now: our government seems hopelessly ineffective, we can't even keep migrant children from sneaking in (never mind any nefarious others who don't turn themselves in to border patrol), our project-nation of Iraq is falling into the hands of a savage caliphate, Russia taunts us without fear of reprisal, we have a two-term president whose primary achievements have been campaigning, blaming, and redefining what it is to say "period" at the end of a declaration, and we still can't manage to get very far in the World Cup. There's more, but I'm getting depressed thinking about it. Nevertheless, I do believe the case for America is strong.

This is not a campaign speech. This is a wake-up call. Since I brought up the World Cup, it is deserving to look at our team, and I am very proud. "Why?", you ask, after winning only one match out of four and exiting in hardly better-than-expected fashion. The US Men's National Team is what we all should be right now. Our country is getting used to the fact that we will not always win. In fact, there are many factors that will try to keep us down. Even our own coach declared that we should not expect to win. Yet, we battle. We stay true. We know who we are, and we do not apologize for it. We believe.

This isn't a sports pep-talk either. America is not special because of victories, although we have had many. America is not unique because of freedom, although it is profoundly necessary. America is not prosperous because we have a perfect economic system, but the ideals remain the best around. America is, always has been, and forever must be a perfect idea in its simplicity. Our country is not a place as much as it is an experiment, a battle, and a compact. It has been said that only we can destroy America from the inside, because what we have is a spirit. Funny thing about spirits is that they are difficult to fully capture, indefinite in their capabilities, impossible to revoke, and often arduous to prove. Our soccer team's chant this tournament was "I believe that we will win." That is exactly the spirit. Our country is great because at our core, we believe - not in politicians, fairy tales, or good luck... but in ourselves. We believe that this grand experiment in liberty and self-rule is what propels our success and indeed makes us indomitable.

What is wrong with our country is that our compact and our culture are broken. We will never all agree on anything, nor should we in many cases. However, we must not be too politically correct to admit to an adherence to a compact and culture. When even the American Spirit becomes negotiable, we have lost our way. When we value the wrong things, we become weak. I fear our America has fallen into mediocrity in many ways, whether through self-indulgence, impropriety, ignorance, divisiveness, or rancor. We fail to be our best, when we should be like those men in red, white, and blue who fearlessly battled for the common goal.

The case for America remains unchanged, even though we may have. The case is strong. While the reality of our prominence seems fragile, the necessity of America endures as indispensable to the world as it ever has. While the prospect of our imperative nature strikes some as impure or unjustly bold, it is still our obligation to believe... and I believe that we will win.

God, bless America.

Memorial Day

“I pray that our Heavenly Father may assuage the anguish of your bereavement, and leave you only the cherished memory of the loved and lost, and the solemn pride that must be yours to have laid so costly a sacrifice upon the altar of freedom.”

 – Abraham Lincoln’s Letter to Mrs. Lydia Bixby (November 21, 1864)

Vietnam Veterans Memorial - Washington, DC

US Marine Corps War Memorial - Arlington, VA

Korean War Memorial - National Mall - Washington, DC

Memorial Day 2010 - Overlooking Washington, DC from Virginia

Arlington National Cemetery - Arlington, VA

US Air Force Memorial - Arlington, VA

US Navy Memorial - Washington, DC

“…that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain; that this nation shall have a new birth of freedom; and that this government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth.” 

– Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address (November 19, 1863)

What Makes a Better Story

Tennessee

If a man has no story, he hasn't lived a life at all.

I have never been a great storyteller; I forget pertinent details, lose track of where I am going, and often build up to not much of a finale. Of course, that doesn't bode well for you finishing this post. Luckily, I have pictures! However, it should be noted that the most important story we tell is with our lives. You should be wary of the person who has many stories to tell while sitting idly. I really don't know how one lives without putting himself out there - to see the world, to get to know its people, to make mistakes, to accomplish, and to be judged.

My most recent trip was from California to Las Vegas for my friend Stefanie's wedding. As it turns out, this country has many roads, and I found myself in Mexico, Texas, Alabama, and Washington, DC before I made it home 16 days later. Among the beauty I witnessed were blue skies, a black starry night, old friends, kind strangers, three of the sweetest nieces a guy could hope for, and fish tacos (always bring your passport!). Just to make it interesting, I made the whole car journey without music. Whaaaaaat? I did it once before on my motorcycle, and it really forces you to think, so I tried it again. Here are just some of what I discovered along the way:

My Friend Gin and Me at Lunch in Alabama

Me and the Bride

Mississippi Field

Arizona Sunset

Cross-Country Train

Fish Tacos in Ciudad Juarez, Mexico

Me and My Friend Christine in Dallas

Mississippi River

Sunset Over Louisiana

Excellence Runs Deep

The "Let's Win" Competition

It was a calm and slightly cool afternoon today as I took great pride in returning after 14 years to a school where I had coached varsity soccer to see one of my former players coach her team in the CIF Playoffs. While I can't claim responsibility for her great knowledge of the game, I was just simply happy to see her success and hoped maybe one thing I said or did contributed to her being able to be there for her girls. At half-time, I checked my phone for any news, and there was - that my first football coach had passed away.

It has been a very fortunate blessing that San Bernardino, California has been the home of some excellent coaches in many sports. Who I am - and similarly true for countless others - is a reflection of what these good people have bestowed out of little more than the love of the game and love of other people. Gary Porter taught me discipline and dedication. John Hague taught me sportsmanship and professionalism. Robin Goodman taught me courage and toughness. Rich Imbriani taught me intensity and determination. Chuck Pettersen taught me motivation and how to be a champion.

One of our weekly "team books" given each Monday

Coach Pettersen, or "Coach P", only coached me for one season - his last at Cajon High School - during 1990, and as a kicker, the majority of practice time was spent away from the rest of the team. However, he made an impact on me as an athlete (and later as a coach) like no other. I was fifteen years-old, and for the first time in nine years playing sports, I learned how passion and excellence were two things that were uniquely integral in winning at a high level. What he delivered to his teams was not just a road map for victory or intense physical training. Coach P taught us to care for what we were doing and whom we relied upon as teammates. He created an atmosphere in which we could thrive and an expectation not only that winning was possible, but it was a necessary part of life. We did win a league championship that year, but perhaps more important to me, he taught me how to win.

The strange thing about coaching is that you never really know the impact that you make. You can count the wins and the losses. You can count the playoff appearances and league championships. However, the little things you strive to impart to the integrity of another human may always remain a mystery; one can only be proud of what we all managed to achieve together. At least, among other things, our coach can rest in peace knowing that there are scores of men who grew up knowing that "Better is Best", one should always strive to "Be Somebody", and "Excellence Runs Deep."

Oh yeah... Let's Win.

After my last game of my first season coaching - at Cajon

Love Actually Is All Around

Love has many faces. The following is my attempt to exhibit some of what I have found in my travels and in my own neighborhood.

All photographs Copyright J. Mark Porter Photography 2014

Baby Niece - 2009

Love helps us to survive. A mother's touch is one of the first proofs of love that most of us recognize and perhaps the most powerful. My twin nieces Elizabeth and Katharine were born early during the winter of 2009 and needed to be held in the NICU until they were stable and strong enough to face the big bad world. I was immediately taken with (right after the beauty of the babies) the soft pink and blue lighting that surrounded the girls and took a number of shots - all without flash, due to the fragile nature of the environment - and I am grateful this is how I was able to capture one of the first moments of this girl's life.

Blue Mass Procession - 2012

Love is often exhibited in how we honor our fellow man. Every year at my church, St. Patrick's, in Washington, DC, a "Blue Mass" is held to honor the previous year's fallen American law enforcement officers. The church is always filled with representatives from many states and various arms of the law, including Border Patrol, Secret Service, Sheriffs, local police, etc. Love is showing appreciation for those who earn it and showing solidarity for a shared purpose.

Family Surf - 2013

Family love is a unique natural bond that has no equal. There is a lot of talk about what in fact a "family" is, but there is something special about the gift from God that is a team of blood ties. Oftentimes, family love is the most unbreakable. I love the beach. Pictured here is a family of surfers at Huntington Beach checking out the surf before heading out. Obviously, the dad is sharing his passion with his kids and it's something they all will be able to enjoy and have in common for a lifetime.

Dominicana and Child - 2009

Two major components of love are protection and dedication. "To love" could also mean "to care for." When we watch over another life and take responsibility for their welfare or success, we love. On a trip south, I was honored to learn about two countries on one island - Haiti and Dominican Republic. Without going into too much detail, there is much poverty on this island. While not far from the United States, it seems a world away in some ways. While I meandered through the city of Santo Domingo on a very hot summer day, I came upon this woman and child, both sleeping on the side of the road. In the US, we might expect see this scene with shoes on feet and a hat seeking spare change. Here in the Dominican Republic, I think they truly had nothing... except each other. Scenes like this always make me nervous as a photographer, because I hate to intrude, however I think it is in instances such as this that we see the the raw humanity of being human. With nothing else, there is still love.

First-Time Mom - 2006

I find it hard to think that the love between a mother and her child can be overstated. Here is a candid moment of a woman who is taking in the realization that her life is forever changed by this new life in her arms. As a first-time parent there must be a million things that pass through the mind, from thinking of simply how to keep her alive through the next few moments to what she might look like in her wedding dress. Pictured is my favorite sister-in-law Jennifer and my niece Alexandra in the summer of 2006. I remember holding my niece in that very same chair and thinking about things in this world that she would eventually have to face - such as a crazy dictator in North Korea launching missiles. While love comes with its own kind of heavenly peace, it certainly gives you a compass for what is truly important in this world.

Family Fourth - 2011

Far from the only species of animal to do this, but when we love, we want to impress. When we love, we give reasons for why we ought to be together. Basically, love is why we try. This photograph was taken from a patio of one of the US House office buildings on Capitol Hill in Washington, DC on Fourth of July.

Grandma's Birthday - 2014

Love is in the moment. While we all hope that love lasts a lifetime, eventually we learn that all things change, and all things end. Love is not in a book or somewhere far away, but it is in the moments that can present themselves to us every day. Far from a grandparent's consciousness are the minute details of worry, and maybe even the frosting on the cake, but the simple joys of a life well lived during precious moments. Pictured is my godmother on her birthday with two of her grandchildren on her lap. Even with one child making a sour face and the other not even paying attention, in her eyes I see that everything is perfect.

Inaugural Pride - 2009

Speaking of moments, there are some that bind even strangers together. In love, you simply have to let down your guard and accept certain things. Some special moments allow us to come together in a way that we otherwise never would. Love is a powerful phenomenon, and when properly harnessed can do great things. While I had absolutely no desire to be a part of this crowd that day, because it was very cold and I did not feel like celebrating a symbolic and superficial election, the crowds that flooded the streets of Washington from before daylight to be a part of the first Inauguration of President Obama were a spectacle of joy, pride, and love of country. Love is about more than oneself.

Old Roses - 2013

Maverick and Goose -2010

It is hard to imagine much in this world that is perfect, but I do believe something that is is God's love for us. Why else would He allow us such beauty? I am by no means perfect, but I am often in awe of what I see before me. The philosophy that guides my art is not that I can create, but I only do my best to capture what has already been created. If you believe in a loving God, then you know that we only love because He has loved us. This image was captured in Miami on a simply gorgeous early morning. The sunrise was magical, and the providence that allowed me to be a witness was perfect.

"Dear friends, if God loved us that much, we also should love each other. No one has ever seen God, but if we love each other, God lives in us, and his love is made perfect in us."                   - 1 John 4:11-12

Rest in Peace, Mr B - 2013

Love hurts. While love can never precisely be measured in units, it is felt in grief when we reach an end. While endings result in sadness, true love lasts beyond our earthly bodies... or why else would we have funerals and cemeteries? Yes, love hurts, but it also endures from man to man and memory to memory. This photo was the only one I took during the funeral and burial of the father of a friend I have known since first grade.

St Pancras Lovers - 2013

Last, but not least, love captures our hearts and gives us hope. You may be thinking that I have neglected romantic love, and you may be right. First of all, I didn't want to embarrass anyone by putting their romantic relationship on display for millions to see. Secondly, what I know about romantic love is that it must be sought and it must be cherished. It is its own piece of art that becomes a constant in a sea of variables. It is what we find when we dare to journey, and it takes on a life of its own. Love inspires us to dream of what could be and gives us the strength to get there. This photograph shows Paul Day's "The Meeting Place" statue at one end of London's St. Pancras International Rail Station which welcomes many a traveler whilst exuding the pride of many a Londoner.